Teachers are normal people, most of the time. We laugh, we cry, we have good days, we have horrid days. Generally speaking, if you're working with human beings, you have to be able to accept that people are going to behave like people. And sometimes, being humans, they have human ways of dealing with problems. Or not dealing with them.
I just had class with a student who I'll call Oxford. Oxford is a very successful lawyer who's had senior positions in the Spanish government. Oxford has a hell of a time with English, however - it takes forever to get sentences out, there are a lot of problems with vocabulary, and I do wonder about Oxford's ability to handle information. For the past two years, Oxford has had conversation classes, but it never occurred to me to ask Oxford why the classes had to focus on conversation and nothing else.
I think I learned the reason why today.
Since Oxford is setting up a lot of meetings, I thought, OK, maybe a lesson on taking notes and manipulating written information would be a good idea. No way. At first, Oxford didn't resist directly; Oxford asked a lot of questions and didn't quite get the idea behind reading a text and condensing information into notes. It was as if my questions were bouncing off Oxford at every angle, like a basketball that has too much air in it - you could get close to the net, but not in it.
It turns out that Oxford doesn't read. I don't really know the reason why. When reading the newspaper, for example, Oxford claims to scan for the most important words, but once Oxford more or less understands the article, that's it. The newspaper goes in the garbage.
Okaaaay...what about law school? Or laws? Or legal briefs?
Same thing.
(Pause.)
Okaaaaayyyyy....
So we have fifty minutes left of class, and the class has just hit the wall. Oxford cannot or does not want to do the exercise - I'm still not sure why. But then it occurs to me: Maybe Oxford has some kind of reading disability or dyslexia or something. The best thing would be to ask Oxford what's going on, but that's not a good idea: Oxford keeps getting more and more agitated.
Boom. The exercise goes in the garbage.
Next plan: Listening. I decide to improvise a listening exercise from something we did the other day, but there's a problem: the academy has lost the CDs for that textbook. All right. Oxford wants conversation? That's what we'll do, then. This would be a good plan, except that Oxford is now in such a bad mood, conversation becomes a one-sided, somewhat understandable monologue about steel, Chinese manufacturing, how evil Coca-Cola is...you get the idea.
So what do you do in those situations? The same thing, I imagine, that parents do when their kids have tantrums. I just sat there, nodded, tried not to look at the watch too often, asked questions slowly, and tried to understand Oxford as best I could. At the same time, however, I kept thinking, Where is this coming from? Why is this student behaving like this?
The reason why is probably irrelevant. But when you first start teaching, it's really, really, really hard to realize that, just like us, students are going to have horrible days. Students are going to react badly if they feel they're being attacked. Students will get frustrated if they don't see why an exercise is important, and when a student explodes, sometimes the best thing to do is to try to be sympathetic and not pass judgment.
I don't know if Oxford will ever make progress; in some ways, that doesn't matter. Oxford still attends classes, and that's the most important thing. The second most important thing is that we, as teachers, do not think that you are crazy or weird or unstable or nuts because you have days like that. We all have days like that.
"Some days, you're the windscreen; some days, you're the bug." -- Mark Knopfler
1.23.2011
"BAD" marketing!
You know how I'm always complaining that people shouldn't use words like "good" or "bad" to describe things? Here's another example: this isn't bad marketing - it's sloppy and careless.This ad was taken from this morning's edition of EL PAÍS. It's an ad for women's intimate care products. My Webster's Dictionary defines "chilly" as: "unpleasantly affected by cold" and "lacking warmth and feeling."
Not to be rude, but I really wouldn't want something lacking warmth and feeling in my, er, girly bits.
1.22.2011
You have to see them to believe them....
I have no idea how many native English speakers actually live in Madrid. There should be enough native English speakers that SOMEBODY could have prevented these mistakes from happening.
1.21.2011
Some thoughts about being afraid....
Lourdes and I went to see "The King's Speech" last night. If you've got any doubts about seeing it, please, do - it's wonderful. One of the best parts of the film is watching Bertie (Colin Firth) struggle against his conviction that he will never, ever, stop stammering. There he is, the man who was about to become the King of England, and he's absolutely paralyzed by the fear that his throat and mouth will stop working and he won't be able to express himself.
As the movie progresses, however, you see that isn't the case. When he's relaxed and isn't focused on his fear, he communicates quite well. But the minute fear starts taking over his brain, he's a disaster. He remains completely convinced that he's going to mess things up, and, sure enough, he does!
Sports people call this "choking". You're playing well, you're doing a really good job - but then something happens that brings in that moment of doubt, that feeling that maybe you're not good enough, and BLAM! Everything comes apart. I'm not going to name any names, but we've all seen it: in tennis matches, in football matches, in (ummm, ehem...) under-23 international ice hockey championships playing against the Russians...you're winning, you're doing well, but ten or twenty minutes later, those doubts have started to control your brain, and you're dead.
How do you fight it? Don't allow yourself to be fixated on failure.
Imagine yourself in a moment where you're speaking English fluently and without being self-aware. You're relaxed, you're doing well. If you can visualize it, you can do it.
Kill your inner editor. Everyone has a voice from the past that tells them, "You're no good. You don't know anything. You're a failure." Now, imagine yourself telling that person to shut up. Imagine yourself asking that person, "How do you know? Why should YOUR failure influence me?" Inner editors are very powerful. They're also irrelevant and totally useless. Keeping your inner editor will never help you, but getting rid of that person is extremely satisfying.
Be fair to yourself. It's easy to focus on what you didn't do well or mistakes that you made. How many times do you congratulate yourself on doing things well? How many times have you focused on your successes, rather than your failures? Replace your inner editor with your inner grandmother:
The teacher said you did a great job with the role play on Monday's class!
You got an 80% on the last test - that's 10% better than you did last time!
You used those new phrasal verbs properly!
The guy from London said that your English sounded a lot better on the phone!
It doesn't matter if these things would sound stupid to someone else. They're not for someone else - they're for you and for you only.
It's just like the sports coaches say: Attitude gives you altitude. The most important muscle you have is the muscle that is located between your ears.
"Really, the greatest fear is fear itself." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
"Our greatest fear is not that we are powerless. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson
As the movie progresses, however, you see that isn't the case. When he's relaxed and isn't focused on his fear, he communicates quite well. But the minute fear starts taking over his brain, he's a disaster. He remains completely convinced that he's going to mess things up, and, sure enough, he does!
Sports people call this "choking". You're playing well, you're doing a really good job - but then something happens that brings in that moment of doubt, that feeling that maybe you're not good enough, and BLAM! Everything comes apart. I'm not going to name any names, but we've all seen it: in tennis matches, in football matches, in (ummm, ehem...) under-23 international ice hockey championships playing against the Russians...you're winning, you're doing well, but ten or twenty minutes later, those doubts have started to control your brain, and you're dead.
How do you fight it? Don't allow yourself to be fixated on failure.
Imagine yourself in a moment where you're speaking English fluently and without being self-aware. You're relaxed, you're doing well. If you can visualize it, you can do it.
Kill your inner editor. Everyone has a voice from the past that tells them, "You're no good. You don't know anything. You're a failure." Now, imagine yourself telling that person to shut up. Imagine yourself asking that person, "How do you know? Why should YOUR failure influence me?" Inner editors are very powerful. They're also irrelevant and totally useless. Keeping your inner editor will never help you, but getting rid of that person is extremely satisfying.
Be fair to yourself. It's easy to focus on what you didn't do well or mistakes that you made. How many times do you congratulate yourself on doing things well? How many times have you focused on your successes, rather than your failures? Replace your inner editor with your inner grandmother:
The teacher said you did a great job with the role play on Monday's class!
You got an 80% on the last test - that's 10% better than you did last time!
You used those new phrasal verbs properly!
The guy from London said that your English sounded a lot better on the phone!
It doesn't matter if these things would sound stupid to someone else. They're not for someone else - they're for you and for you only.
It's just like the sports coaches say: Attitude gives you altitude. The most important muscle you have is the muscle that is located between your ears.
"Really, the greatest fear is fear itself." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
"Our greatest fear is not that we are powerless. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson
1.20.2011
Don't be THIS student.
Whose fault is it if you don't learn English?
Do you feel that your lack of progress is due to a bad teacher, a stupid teacher, a lazy teacher or an inefficient teacher?
Classroom interaction goes both ways. You can have the best teacher in the world, but if you're not responsible for your own learning, you're going to have problems. People always talk about different kinds of bad teachers...now it's my turn to talk about "bad" students.
After twelve years in the classroom, it's fairly easy to identify the students who won't make progress. Or, worse, the students who won't make progress, and say that it's TOTALLY the teacher's fault.
#1: THE LUMP. Maybe it's not fair to start with The Lump, but I will anyway, because I think that if all The Lumps were taken out of classes, life would be a lot easier for everyone. Somehow, The Lump always manages to be someone with a lot of money. The Lump never talks. Never. "You're the teacher; you is the one who is paid to talk. English class was not my idea; the Human Resources department needs to use up its budget this year and I was the only one who didn't participate in the regular classes. Besides, I don't need English. I have done the Proficiency exam since ten years ago and my English is good." And that's all you hear from The Lump: The Lump then sits with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at you like you came from Mars. The Lump will happily sit there for forty hours in that position! (Don't laugh. It's happened.)
#2: MR./MRS. PANIC. "Yes? Hello? I'm calling to find out about English classes for my son/daughter. My son/daughter is writing the TOEFL/IELTS/PTE/First/Advanced/Proficiency/BULATS the day after tomorrow and needs help with the exam. [Pause.] No, this is the first time s/he has written the exam. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't have a textbook to help him/her study. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't attend an English school. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't have English classes outside of class. [Pause.] Eighty Euros an hour? Can't bring the price down a little bit?"
I always have this conversation with mothers, not with fathers. I think fathers would probably kill their kids for leaving exam preparation until the last minute, which kids almost always do. And no mother has ever paid €80 an hour for English classes...because mothers are smart! Mothers realize that English teachers are teachers...they're not miracle workers!!
#3: THE PATIENT. "Ohhh, my head hurts so much. I think I have the flu. Now, don't forget that you have to correct me on everything that I say wrong. You never correct me when I say thinks wrong. That's what I said, thinks! This cold is just so awful. I just got a cold and now I'm getting another cold. And I'm so tired! I don't know how you English teachers work so hard! Everyone is very so sick these days...no, that's what I said, so very sick...oh, I think I need an aspirin. And it's so cold in here!"
#4. THE NAG: "What do you mean, you don't have extra photocopies from that class we did six months ago? Why aren't you listening to my problems? Why are you so tired? It's not my fault that you've already taught for nine hours today! Sorry, excuse me? Where's my homework? What do you mean, homework? I'm an important person! I have no time for homework! I have an important job and I have children and it takes me an hour to drive here every morning, and I don't have time for anything silly like homework! Homework is for idiots! I pay you to put English in my head, not to give me homework! Now pay attention to ME!"
#5. THE LEGO LANGUAGE EXPERT. "For me, learning English is very ok, but, oh! Why no is more like Spanish? Why not can I take my Spanish words and only translate them directly into English and put them where always I put Spanish words. Is not fair!!" (This person has probably been trying to learn English for, oh, twenty years or so.)
To be fair, we all have days like this. But if you find that your inner dialogue starts sounding like this all the time, you will find that you'll make more progress if you change the way you think about learning.
Do you feel that your lack of progress is due to a bad teacher, a stupid teacher, a lazy teacher or an inefficient teacher?
Classroom interaction goes both ways. You can have the best teacher in the world, but if you're not responsible for your own learning, you're going to have problems. People always talk about different kinds of bad teachers...now it's my turn to talk about "bad" students.
After twelve years in the classroom, it's fairly easy to identify the students who won't make progress. Or, worse, the students who won't make progress, and say that it's TOTALLY the teacher's fault.
#1: THE LUMP. Maybe it's not fair to start with The Lump, but I will anyway, because I think that if all The Lumps were taken out of classes, life would be a lot easier for everyone. Somehow, The Lump always manages to be someone with a lot of money. The Lump never talks. Never. "You're the teacher; you is the one who is paid to talk. English class was not my idea; the Human Resources department needs to use up its budget this year and I was the only one who didn't participate in the regular classes. Besides, I don't need English. I have done the Proficiency exam since ten years ago and my English is good." And that's all you hear from The Lump: The Lump then sits with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at you like you came from Mars. The Lump will happily sit there for forty hours in that position! (Don't laugh. It's happened.)
#2: MR./MRS. PANIC. "Yes? Hello? I'm calling to find out about English classes for my son/daughter. My son/daughter is writing the TOEFL/IELTS/PTE/First/Advanced/Proficiency/BULATS the day after tomorrow and needs help with the exam. [Pause.] No, this is the first time s/he has written the exam. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't have a textbook to help him/her study. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't attend an English school. [Pause.] No, s/he doesn't have English classes outside of class. [Pause.] Eighty Euros an hour? Can't bring the price down a little bit?"
I always have this conversation with mothers, not with fathers. I think fathers would probably kill their kids for leaving exam preparation until the last minute, which kids almost always do. And no mother has ever paid €80 an hour for English classes...because mothers are smart! Mothers realize that English teachers are teachers...they're not miracle workers!!
#3: THE PATIENT. "Ohhh, my head hurts so much. I think I have the flu. Now, don't forget that you have to correct me on everything that I say wrong. You never correct me when I say thinks wrong. That's what I said, thinks! This cold is just so awful. I just got a cold and now I'm getting another cold. And I'm so tired! I don't know how you English teachers work so hard! Everyone is very so sick these days...no, that's what I said, so very sick...oh, I think I need an aspirin. And it's so cold in here!"
#4. THE NAG: "What do you mean, you don't have extra photocopies from that class we did six months ago? Why aren't you listening to my problems? Why are you so tired? It's not my fault that you've already taught for nine hours today! Sorry, excuse me? Where's my homework? What do you mean, homework? I'm an important person! I have no time for homework! I have an important job and I have children and it takes me an hour to drive here every morning, and I don't have time for anything silly like homework! Homework is for idiots! I pay you to put English in my head, not to give me homework! Now pay attention to ME!"
#5. THE LEGO LANGUAGE EXPERT. "For me, learning English is very ok, but, oh! Why no is more like Spanish? Why not can I take my Spanish words and only translate them directly into English and put them where always I put Spanish words. Is not fair!!" (This person has probably been trying to learn English for, oh, twenty years or so.)
To be fair, we all have days like this. But if you find that your inner dialogue starts sounding like this all the time, you will find that you'll make more progress if you change the way you think about learning.
1.18.2011
Is your dog smarter than you think he is?
Could your dog be a good language student? Sort of, says The New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/science/18dog.html?_r=1&src=ISMR_HP_LO_MST_FB
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/18/science/18dog.html?_r=1&src=ISMR_HP_LO_MST_FB
1.16.2011
Get rid of it!
Here's an easy New Year's resolution for 2011:
If you're like most language students, you probably have a big stack of photocopies from past classes. And I'm willing to bet that you haven't touched them in ages.
To make your life easier, go through all your photocopies and sort them into two piles. One pile is for photocopies that you use regularly and which you use to review. The other pile is for photocopies that you haven't read in the past six months - since last June.
Pile #1 goes into your binder.
Pile #2 goes into your recycling bin.
If you don't need it and you don't use it, why are you still holding onto it?
If you're like most language students, you probably have a big stack of photocopies from past classes. And I'm willing to bet that you haven't touched them in ages.
To make your life easier, go through all your photocopies and sort them into two piles. One pile is for photocopies that you use regularly and which you use to review. The other pile is for photocopies that you haven't read in the past six months - since last June.
Pile #1 goes into your binder.
Pile #2 goes into your recycling bin.
If you don't need it and you don't use it, why are you still holding onto it?
1.10.2011
English and salary levels
On Saturday, I posted that I didn't know how much salaries were affected by someone's level of English. Europa Press has provided some idea...
http://www.europapress.es/economia/laboral-00346/noticia-economia-laboral-secretarias-ganan-15-mas-2009-ett-20110110131531.html
Interesting...
http://www.europapress.es/economia/laboral-00346/noticia-economia-laboral-secretarias-ganan-15-mas-2009-ett-20110110131531.html
Interesting...
1.09.2011
A test is not a test.
If you haven't had one yet, trust me, you're going to get a test in the next four weeks.
Don't stress. Don't freak out. Don't be scared.
It's not a test: It's a pat on the back. You can choose to focus on your mistakes. Why not focus on what you did well? If your class doesn't have a cutoff point, why is 80% a failure?
It's not a test: It's a diagnostic tool. The questions you got wrong are not mistakes. They're a way to analyze what you need to study more.
It's not a test: It's a reality check. Sometimes, it's not very pleasant to see your errors in black and white (and red) in front of you, but it's better to know NOW, while you can still do something about it.
Remember that a reaction is always a choice. How you choose to react to a test -- and your test results -- can determine how well you'll do in your English class this year.
Don't stress. Don't freak out. Don't be scared.
It's not a test: It's a pat on the back. You can choose to focus on your mistakes. Why not focus on what you did well? If your class doesn't have a cutoff point, why is 80% a failure?
It's not a test: It's a diagnostic tool. The questions you got wrong are not mistakes. They're a way to analyze what you need to study more.
It's not a test: It's a reality check. Sometimes, it's not very pleasant to see your errors in black and white (and red) in front of you, but it's better to know NOW, while you can still do something about it.
Remember that a reaction is always a choice. How you choose to react to a test -- and your test results -- can determine how well you'll do in your English class this year.
YUCK!
I know that I always tell my students that it's important to use clear, specific verbs. The Daily Dish has a good example of how you can have too much of a good thing.
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/06/poseur-alert.html
Gerbils...water bottles...kissing? Ew!!!
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/06/poseur-alert.html
Gerbils...water bottles...kissing? Ew!!!
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