Well, THAT's a new way to think about a language...

This week, The New Yorker magazine has an article about how, this year, anything connected to Denmark and the Danish language has become fashionable in the UK.

Unfortunately, I can't link to the article because it's only available to subscribers. However, I thought that it was worth risking the anger of the magazine's lawyers by citing this one (very funny) part:

When asked by the Guardian to account for the popularity of Danish television overseas, [one] actress....replied, "I've no idea, because our language is one of the most ugly and limited around. You can't seduce anyone in Danish; it sounds like you are throwing up. (=vomiting)"

If you need help with phrasal verbs...

Yesterday, I posted my latest Doceri video about phrasal verbs. Looking back, though, I realize that I should have provided a little bit more of an explanation, so here's a quick rundown of what to remember about phrasal verbs:

a) Phrasal verbs may be complex, but they're not LONG. The maximum number of words you can have in a phrasal verb is three words. That makes it easier to learn and use all the parts together. Don't fixate on the meaning of the individual pieces. That won't help you. Trying to translate the individual words just shows that you can't work in English. If you can learn the name of a brand (e.g. Coca-Cola - two words) or someone's name (Angelina Jolie, which has two words), you can learn phrasal verbs.

b) You do not need to know every possible phrasal verb that exists in English. If I told you that you had to memorize the credit card numbers of everyone you know, you would think that I'm crazy. If I told you to sit in the Metro and learn the names of every single station in the Metro system, you'd think I was mad. So why do students feel that they have to learn every single possible phrasal verb? Don't drive yourself crazy with that idea. So....

c) Focus on the phrasal verbs that you need to use in your everyday life. Don't try to learn phrasal verbs that you won't use. If you're a secretary, you probably don't feel a great need to learn terms related to neuroscience. It's the same thing, here.

I'll post more Doceri presentations about phrasal verbs in the future; but, for now, if you can remember those three key ideas, you'll give yourself a lot less stress and frustration.

STOP SPANGLISH grammar on YouTube

Someone once said that I need to make a video of all those funny little bits of information about English verbs. Well, thanks to a new iPad too called Doceri, I've done it! This video reviews all of the little funny things that I keep forgetting to tell everyone, so here they all are, in one video. Hope you find it helpful.

(There will be more videos coming up soon, especially about the different predicate patterns and about prepositions after verbs, so stay tuned -- and let me know if you think there's a topic that deserves a video.)

When Sergio said, "Merry Christmas"...

Today's EL PAÍS has an article about...well, I don't really know what it's about - it's kind of a summary of "we speak English as badly as they speak Spanish but in the end, everything is OK."  Articles like this bother me, and I never know if they bother me because they're so inaccurate (what, exactly, are they complaining about?) or because they seem to try to talk about all sides of an issue and end up not offering information about anything.

I've spent twelve years helping actors, secretaries, help desk staff, politicians and doctors improve their accents, and I just want to say this: Sergio Ramos is fine. Nobody has to speak like Sir Laurence Olivier if there isn't a clear, definite reason to speak that way. Ramos is a twenty-something kid from Cádiz who probably doesn't speak English on a regular basis, and his accent reflects that. Anyone who feels the need to really beat up on Ramos because of his accent has a serious problem with self-esteem.

Personally, I think that if Sergio Ramos spoke English like Olivier, that would be bizarre. It's not like Ramos is like Gael García Bernal, who lived and studied in the UK - and is an actor who works with English-speaking directors. García Bernal needs to sound like Laurence Olivier. Ramos may want to speak that well, but there is no rational reason for him to speak that way.

Don't give yourself more problems than you already have -- learning to use English well is tough enough!

Christmas English for the kids!

If you have small children at home...and you might need to find something for them to do while you're preparing for Christmas Eve dinner...try the NORAD Santa Tracker.

Well, er, yes, it's basically a military application and yes, NORAD is connected to NATO. This website has been known to keep more than one kid quiet for an hour or so...plus they can work on their geography and English at the same time.

What might tomorrow's English sound like?

What might English sound like in the distant future - especially if things like the Mayan Apocalypse were to happen? The Economist's Johnson blog has an idea.

Thanks to Jesús Marín for sending this one in!

If you are convinced you'll never learn English....

....because you haven't done so well so far, think of this:

PAST PERFORMANCE DOES NOT GUARANTEE FUTURE RETURNS.

That's what you see at the bottom of any information on investments, and it's true.

Let me put it another way:

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO GRAB OPPORTUNITIES IN  THE FUTURE IF YOUR HANDS ARE FULL OF GARBAGE FROM THE PAST.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted in the past. That doesn't guarantee that you're never going to get what you want in the future.

What can you change in 2013 to make your English better than ever?

The NICE test for auxiliary verbs

So I was flipping through a book on linguistics yesterday (typical bathroom reading, y'know....) and I came across an interesting memory trick that might help you remember the difference between "normal" verbs and auxiliary verbs.

What are the most important differences between "normal" and auxiliary verbs? Think of the NICE test:

• Both time and modal auxiliary verbs have NEGATIVE forms: hadn't, wouldn't couldn't, isn't, aren't (NOT: amn't.) 
• For questions, the order of auxiliary verbs can be INVERTED: he had = had he?; they could = could they?
• You can have them in shortened forms as long as you know what the CONTEXT is: "They could go there by car, couldn't they?" -- "They could." (The sentence doesn't make any sense if you don't have the question before it. 
• You couldn't do this with "You like running, don't you?" -- "I like.")
• They can be stressed with EMPHASIS: "You can't do this." -- "I can!!" 

(EDIT: Oh, and remember: You can't use two auxiliary verbs together: I will can go, He did must speak.)

(Source: The Oxford Concise Dictionary of Linguistics, by P. H. Matthews)

Oooops! of the Day

If you don't think that you need to remember participle adjectives (bored, interesting), take a look at this.

(Source: www.theatlantic.com).

Pigs don't sing.

People who teach English are like any other people: there are things about our jobs that irritate us greatly. One thing that never fails to bother me is the number of people who don't speak English themselves, but demand that their kids speak English, no matter what the cost.

To me, this is kind of like torturing your kids into being football stars because you play football really terribly -- but you always dreamed of being a star football player. In Spain, however, it seems to be a favourite way of trying to get kids to speak English. 

Know what? It doesn't work.  

In English, this is called stage mother syndrome, and we don't think much of it. (In Canada, it might be called "trying to get a pig to sing"; it's futile and all it does is frustrate you and make the pig angry.) 

Folks: if your kids do not ask you, bother you, demand English classes from you...please. Don't do it. I don't care how smart or bright or intelligent your kid is. If your kid hates English and does not want English classes, don't give them private English classes. Students who are unmotivated are, generally, students who will not do very well because they don't CARE enough about learning and it won't be important for them to do a good job. That is just as true of adults as it is of youngsters. Unmotivated students who don't want to do a good job won't do a good job. You're wasting your money. Your kid will just be angry and resentful, especially if your kid KNOWS you're making him or her do it because you can't. And it won't make up for the fact that you can't speak English as well as you want to.

If you feel self-conscious about your ability to speak English, well, then....I would like to invite you to take classes. I'm not saying this to increase my business. I'm saying this because there are already too many pigs who can't sing in this world.

Five reflexive verbs for language practice

Normally, English doesn't tend to use reflexive verbs as much as other languages, such as French or Spanish, do. There are, however, five reflexive verbs that you might find useful, especially if you're studying to take an exam:

• familiarize yourself with a concept/topic
• say something to yourself    (also possible: tell yourself something)
• remind yourself of something
• convince yourself of something

Notice how you use prepositions (with/to/of) to connect another concept with the verb!

This doesn't have much pedagogical value, but...

...if you're looking for a daily smile, go over to Twitter and follow the Twitter feed of the Solihull Police force. I have no idea who does their Twitter posts, but damn, they are funny:

You know too much already....”@ianst0028 - @SolihullPolice freedom of information request. What's your zombie apocalypse plan?”

And this contribution to the classic Christmas song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas":

On the 1st day of Solihull Christmas my True twitter love gave to me ♬ 1 Martin Johnson ♬ Solihull rugby god who won the World Cup in 2003!

...which generated a lot of on-line eye-rolling, which, in turn, generated this post:

So you don’t like our Christmas rhyme, what is this the blinking X Factor? This is a local copper tweeting - who’d you expect, John Lennon?

Well....The Police, maybe?

Enjoy!

FCE Vocabulary: Right word, wrong word

If you're doing the First Certificate this year, you've probably noticed that you are expected to understand the difference between words that seem really similar, but are used in different circumstances.

Here's an example of something I did in class with Irene last night (and with Juan Francisco on Thursday). Can you describe the differences between these words?

FRIEND

PAL

CLASSMATE

CO-WORKER

BUDDY

SOUL-MATE?


I'll post the answer tomorrow (Saturday.)

==========================

UPDATE - Saturday:

Right! Here are the answers. Thanks to everyone who wrote in with ideas and explanations.

The OALD defines FRIEND as: a person you know well and like, and who is not usually a member of your family.

A PAL is closer to the idea of ACQUAINTANCE - someone you know, but not very well. Put another way: If you were in jail at 4AM on a Saturday, you would call a friend to help you (not a pal...unless you have no friends, I guess.) 

BUDDY is similar to PAL, but it's a slightly older term. Your parents, for example, would use "buddy", but it's not a word that you hear teenagers say these days.

A CLASSMATE is someone who's in your class at school (or university or a night or language class): you share the common context of education (and it doesn't automatically mean that the person is your friend.) CO-WORKER has the common context of work. Spanish speakers of English might find CO-WORKER easier to pronounce than "colleague" (which comes out sounding too much like "college".)

SOUL-MATE has the idea of: "a person that you have a special friendship with because you understand each other's feelings and interests".   It's often (but not always) used in romantic contexts.

The Temporary Worker visa is BACK ON.

Canadian Immigration minister Jason Kenney announced today that the Canadian government will start the temporary worker visa program once more.

Starting in 2013, the Federal Skilled Trades Scheme will offer 3,000 visas to qualified workers (especially workers who have recent, relevant experience in the construction industry). This number will increase over the next few years because many people in the construction industry want to offer jobs to qualified immigrants.

You can read a bit more about the program here. It's worth noting that you do NOT have to meet the typical language requirements (IELTS Level 7 or Cambridge Advanced Certificate) - having a minimum knowledge of English or French is fine.

I'll post more information as I find out about it.

Funny!

Now why don't ESL textbooks ever contain information like this?

http://sco.lt/7M28X3

(Thanks to @BCMadridAdults for the laugh.)

Do you use EVERNOTE?

Attention EVERNOTE users!

I'm experimenting with some quick (under three minute) pronunciation exercises on Evernote, and I'm looking for some people who would be willing to try the exercises and let me know what's good about them and how effective they find them.

If you'd like to try the exercises, please leave me a message in the Comments below, and let me know how to get in touch with you. I promise that I will only use your e-mail to get in touch with you - I won't spam you with other e-mails or any marketing (because I hate spam, and because I don't really have the time to do that, anyway.)

Thanks in advance to anyone and everyone who wants to help!

Watch your "but".

Be very careful how often you say "BUT" in conversation in English:

"It's a nice day out today."
"Yes, but...the sky is very blue."

-- or --

"Gonzalo works as an engineer."
"Yes, but, he speaks English."

BUT is a conjunction that shows contrast. In Spanish, pero can be used to bring together ideas. In English, BUT is not used to connect ideas: it's used to show that one thing is not the same as another.

• He owns a really nice house but he doesn't have a lot of money in his bank account.
• He's allergic to peanuts but he really likes peanut butter.
• Tyson loves the movies but he rarely goes to the cinema.

If you use BUT too much when you talk, it can sound like you are continually disagreeing with the other person.

For doctors who want to come to Canada...

So, in light of everything that is happening in the Spanish health system:

A number of people have expressed interest in coming to Canada to practice. I can understand why - one of the main topics you hear in the news every week is that Canada doesn't have enough doctors, especially primary care physicians.  That made me wonder: if there are so many qualified doctors in other parts of the world, and there's a lack of doctors in Canada, what's the problem? What isn't working?

I started investigating things a couple of weeks ago and this is what I found. I'll also add a section about what I don't know at the bottom, and I'll post an update once I get the information:

a) If your medical school has been approved by the World Health Organization (WHO), they will be able to provide you with a certificate that your medical school certification meets world standards.

b) Once you receive that certificate, you are required to establish professional competence by writing the Medical Council of Canada Evaluating Exam (MCCEE), which compares what you've learnt to what Canadian medical school graduates would be expected to know. The exam tests your knowledge in internal medicine, ob/gyn, paediatrics, psychiatry and surgery. These exams are held every March and September and are offered in Canada and other countries. (See Note 1 below.)

c) Once you've successfully completed the MCCEE, you may (depending on which province you want to practice in) need to do a twelve-month residency program (whether this HAS to be in Canada or can be completed outside of Canada, I don't know.) There are thirteen post-graduate medical programs that accept foreign candidates (this is organized by the Canadian Resident Matching Service, here in Ottawa) It's not entirely clear from the information what kind of numbers we're talking about - how many they accept per year, whether that is a fixed number of residents or if it changes depending on need, and if certain specialties are given priority.

d) Depending on your speciality (and the province you end up in), you may be required to write supplementary exams. (May.)

Now, all that said, there's still a lot of stuff I don't know:
1. I don't know if you have to have any kind of English certification!!
2. I don't know how many potential candidates this could involve and I don't know how doctors are selected.
3. I don't know how much time this actually means - if you start the process now, I don't know how long you would have to wait, what with all the exams and everything.

So the good news is that it's not impossible.

The bad(-ish) news is that it seems to be a system that heavily favours exams.

I'll keep adding news as I find more out. Feel free to pass this on to anyone who might be interested. I'm not sure how much help I'll be able to provide, but I'll give you all the information I can find.

(Note 1: I haven't figured out where, exactly, the MCCEE is held outside of Canada. I would assume that they *should* offer it in Madrid, but it may mean going to London or Paris. I also need to find out what the registration process is and how far in advance you need to register for the exam, how much it costs, stuff like that.)