I have a new personal trainer. His name is David and he has huge muscles, and he yells a lot. I don't really need a personal trainer, really. Some of you know that I am a huge cycling fanatic and, not so long ago, I used to race, too. I wasn't very good at it. No, the truth of it is that I was REALLY bad at it. I was so bad at racing bicycles that the only reason I went was to have fun with the other gals who were also really bad.
Then last summer hit, and a lot of stuff happened. It's not worth describing what it was; let's just say that I'd rather forget the period between, oh, say, July 27th and today. It's done. It wasn't fun, but it's over with. (I hope.)
I've wanted to write this post for about two months, but it's hard to talk about something when you're still in the middle of it. Let me just say this: even when things are really horrible, even when learning English only makes you feel stupid or silly and you think that there's no sense in trying, you still have to try. I know. It sucks. It's awful. Doing things that you don't want to do, when you really aren't convinced that you can do it, is the most agonizing feeling in the world. But sometimes, it's all you can do.
There's more valor in trying. No one has to know if you quit, but YOU will know if you quit.
You don't have to quit. You can keep trying. You're not Don Quixote. No one will ever make fun of you for trying. Or they shouldn't, anyway.
And you can hold onto trying. Even if it doesn't work out, no one can ever take the sense of pride away from you. There is nothing wrong with being proud of doing a good job. Nothing at all.
In English, we call this "getting back on the horse that threw you." I don't know anything about horses; I know a lot about bicycles. And I know that if you fall off a bicycle, there is only one thing that you can do -- get back on it. Why? Because the shame of giving up is, sometimes, too great.
So that's 2012. Back on the horse.
I hope that you had a great Christmas and a fabulous New Year's, and that you've managed to avoid the January flu.
Now let's get back to work.