9.15.2011
How NOT to learn English at home!
EngVid is an online video service that provides students with English instruction...and lots of help on how NOT to learn English. If you only watch one video today, make it this one.
A new way of giving classes
Those of you who have been looking for an English teacher have probably noticed a new trend: fewer teachers are doing face-to-face classes, and more are offering classes via Skype (or VOIP - voice over Internet protocol.)
Why? Well, there are several reasons.
For me, the most interesting thing about Skype classes is that I'm not losing time by being on the Metro. I like being out of the house and seeing new neighborhoods. Last year, however, I calculated that I was spending more time on public transit than I was in the classroom, which means that if you're on a bus or a train, you're not making money.
That sounds bad, I know, but think of it this way: If you do 30 hours of class in a week, which means that you have to spend 30 hours travelling around the city, that means you spend 60 hours working, not 30, and that cuts your money by 50%. That means that there are two ways you can compensate for that loss. You can start charging students more money to go to their houses (which isn't fair for a lot of people.) Or...you can eliminate the problem altogether by eliminating the transit. That's what I've done.
And what happens if you don't live in a city? What happens if you live in a very small town that doesn't have any English speakers, let alone academies or language schools? Ah. That's another huge advantage with Skype: where there's Internet, there's class! You don't need to have bricks...just clicks. So far, I've worked with students in places like Ciudad Real, Barcelona, Lleida, A Coruña and Segovia, and all of them have been pleased with the result. And at least two of them are very happy that they don't have to have the house totally clean before the teacher comes to give class!
If you're not convinced...ask me for a free class! Try before you buy! If you have Skype and would like to see what a class is like...send me an e-mail! I'm offering a free Skype class to anyone who contacts me before Monday, September 19th, 2011. (Limit of one Skype class per person.)
Why? Well, there are several reasons.
For me, the most interesting thing about Skype classes is that I'm not losing time by being on the Metro. I like being out of the house and seeing new neighborhoods. Last year, however, I calculated that I was spending more time on public transit than I was in the classroom, which means that if you're on a bus or a train, you're not making money.
That sounds bad, I know, but think of it this way: If you do 30 hours of class in a week, which means that you have to spend 30 hours travelling around the city, that means you spend 60 hours working, not 30, and that cuts your money by 50%. That means that there are two ways you can compensate for that loss. You can start charging students more money to go to their houses (which isn't fair for a lot of people.) Or...you can eliminate the problem altogether by eliminating the transit. That's what I've done.
And what happens if you don't live in a city? What happens if you live in a very small town that doesn't have any English speakers, let alone academies or language schools? Ah. That's another huge advantage with Skype: where there's Internet, there's class! You don't need to have bricks...just clicks. So far, I've worked with students in places like Ciudad Real, Barcelona, Lleida, A Coruña and Segovia, and all of them have been pleased with the result. And at least two of them are very happy that they don't have to have the house totally clean before the teacher comes to give class!
If you're not convinced...ask me for a free class! Try before you buy! If you have Skype and would like to see what a class is like...send me an e-mail! I'm offering a free Skype class to anyone who contacts me before Monday, September 19th, 2011. (Limit of one Skype class per person.)
9.12.2011
What is an English class worth?
How much is an English class worth to you? Let me ask you this: who's worth more to you, your cleaning lady or your English teacher?
I just got off the phone with someone who wanted to pay me €10 an hour for classes. Well, once you calculate the travel time and the preparation time, that's what it would come out to.
I pay my cleaning lady €10 an hour and she can't even read.
Taking English classes is an investment. And sometimes, it's going to be expensive. That's why it's an investment. And I'm not sure why people will happily pay €60 for a lunch that will be digested in two hours, but balk at €25 for an English class that could help them get a job or improve their future.
If you want a trained, experienced English teacher to help you, please don't insult an English teacher by asking them to accept less money than you would pay someone who can't read.
I just got off the phone with someone who wanted to pay me €10 an hour for classes. Well, once you calculate the travel time and the preparation time, that's what it would come out to.
I pay my cleaning lady €10 an hour and she can't even read.
Taking English classes is an investment. And sometimes, it's going to be expensive. That's why it's an investment. And I'm not sure why people will happily pay €60 for a lunch that will be digested in two hours, but balk at €25 for an English class that could help them get a job or improve their future.
If you want a trained, experienced English teacher to help you, please don't insult an English teacher by asking them to accept less money than you would pay someone who can't read.
9.07.2011
(From 2008:) The Door, Neo...
Looking back on my personal Facebook stuff, I just found this, and thought it might be interesting to share:
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- So you're saying that my English is terrible and that I'm not going to pass.
- I did not say that. You are unfairly manipulating my words.
He looks at the photocopied page of vocabulary suggestions, some of which he might well use. On the back of the page, there's the transcription of the recording of what he produced on Tuesday afternoon. It is a mangled mishmash of sentence fragments, badly conjugated verbs - the whole lot.
- All I'm saying is that if you do what you've been doing, you're going to get what you've always had and things are not going to change.
- I don't agree.
Well, he wouldn't, wouldn't he? As an upper-middle-class twenty-something, he considers it his right to take four weeks of holiday in August and ignore a relatively simple speaking exam task for the better part of three months, then go back home, raising all kinds of hue and cry and phoning every English teacher in SEGUNDAMANO, because he's worried that he just might fail. Again.
No, I shouldn't say that he's worried. He knows he is going to totally fail this exam. When I shake the wet filet of hand that he offers, the two fingers and section of palm that he offers as a matter of courtesy and little else, it is so drenched with cold sweat (and it's almost 30ºC outside) that I half expect his eyes to roll back in his head and his knees to give out, and for him to flop backwards like a clueless Broadway ingenue. Cold sweat. It's still summer outside and he's wearing a long-sleeved shirt. Our poor boy knows he's going down for the third time. And that's not an exaggeration. There are no fourth chances at the Escuela Oficial. Which means that, from here on in, it's Cambridge First Certificate at €179 a pop. And he's confessed to failing that four times.
- I think that the best thing is that I need to find another teacher to take class with. This, in English.
- I think that's an excellent idea.
He doesn't want a teacher. He wants someone to pat him on the head and stroke his cheek and tell him that everything is going to be okay. He wants a cheerleader, a nanny.
He offers to give me back the sheet. Thanks, but I already speak the language almost comes out, but I cut it at:
- Thanks, I still have the originals at home.
What does he expect me to say? THAT's what I don't understand at all. Does he, in all seriousness, expect me to go on endlessly about his linguistic ability? Does he want me to lie like a rug and tell him everything's gonna be all right?
We walk back along Avenida de Badajoz and he keeps his space so much that he walks out into traffic rather than walk behind the bus shelter with me.
- You ever seen "The Matrix"?
- ¿El qué?
- The Matrix.
- ¿El Mundo?
- No. Matrix. La peli con Laurence Fishburne, Keanu Reeves....
- Pues sí, hombre.
- ¿Te acuerdas de lo que dijo Morfeo cuando Neo se planteó abandonar el mundo para entrar al Matrix? (No answer.) Te puedo mostrar el puerto, Neo....
He offers his hand and a perfunctory, slimy handshake, and slouches off.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- So you're saying that my English is terrible and that I'm not going to pass.
- I did not say that. You are unfairly manipulating my words.
He looks at the photocopied page of vocabulary suggestions, some of which he might well use. On the back of the page, there's the transcription of the recording of what he produced on Tuesday afternoon. It is a mangled mishmash of sentence fragments, badly conjugated verbs - the whole lot.
- All I'm saying is that if you do what you've been doing, you're going to get what you've always had and things are not going to change.
- I don't agree.
Well, he wouldn't, wouldn't he? As an upper-middle-class twenty-something, he considers it his right to take four weeks of holiday in August and ignore a relatively simple speaking exam task for the better part of three months, then go back home, raising all kinds of hue and cry and phoning every English teacher in SEGUNDAMANO, because he's worried that he just might fail. Again.
No, I shouldn't say that he's worried. He knows he is going to totally fail this exam. When I shake the wet filet of hand that he offers, the two fingers and section of palm that he offers as a matter of courtesy and little else, it is so drenched with cold sweat (and it's almost 30ºC outside) that I half expect his eyes to roll back in his head and his knees to give out, and for him to flop backwards like a clueless Broadway ingenue. Cold sweat. It's still summer outside and he's wearing a long-sleeved shirt. Our poor boy knows he's going down for the third time. And that's not an exaggeration. There are no fourth chances at the Escuela Oficial. Which means that, from here on in, it's Cambridge First Certificate at €179 a pop. And he's confessed to failing that four times.
- I think that the best thing is that I need to find another teacher to take class with. This, in English.
- I think that's an excellent idea.
He doesn't want a teacher. He wants someone to pat him on the head and stroke his cheek and tell him that everything is going to be okay. He wants a cheerleader, a nanny.
He offers to give me back the sheet. Thanks, but I already speak the language almost comes out, but I cut it at:
- Thanks, I still have the originals at home.
What does he expect me to say? THAT's what I don't understand at all. Does he, in all seriousness, expect me to go on endlessly about his linguistic ability? Does he want me to lie like a rug and tell him everything's gonna be all right?
We walk back along Avenida de Badajoz and he keeps his space so much that he walks out into traffic rather than walk behind the bus shelter with me.
- You ever seen "The Matrix"?
- ¿El qué?
- The Matrix.
- ¿El Mundo?
- No. Matrix. La peli con Laurence Fishburne, Keanu Reeves....
- Pues sí, hombre.
- ¿Te acuerdas de lo que dijo Morfeo cuando Neo se planteó abandonar el mundo para entrar al Matrix? (No answer.) Te puedo mostrar el puerto, Neo....
He offers his hand and a perfunctory, slimy handshake, and slouches off.
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